PinkNPunky

Becky Manning, 41. Society and its unwritten rules made me grow up to believe that i would grow up to be a man and that i should have a masculine attitude and pursuits. Even tho i felt this was wrong for me i was scared to seek support the whole of my childhood and adolescent life. This to me was the most crucial point in my life to help me come to terms with these feelings that seemed to be labelled wrong and incorrect by the mass. For years i didn't accept what was happening to me. Scared, lonely, terrified.... all very good words to describe the real person hiding under a screen of self confidence. the real me was bursting to get out but i had no one to turn to. Even in today's supposedly tolerant society people like me still are ridiculed and in extreme cases assaulted because they are just trying to be who they feel they should be. Nobody has the right to tell you how your mind should work or that because you were born male you are a man. It's shocking how many people claim to be open-minded, tolerant and progressive yet abhor and criticize anything or anyone that doesn't fall congruent with their beliefs, opinions or values.yet from all of this adversity there is a growing community that i am now glad to be part of. It may be only in the electronic sense for myself at the moment but at least it is a start. Finally, because of some of the wonderful people i have met i can start my path to finding myself, being myself. Why is it tho, that when you've gotten everything you need, all you want, that you find you can't stop wanting the thing that you can't have.... I gave up a shot at something spectacular for something safe, But you can't undo the choices made... The life that was expected of me is laid out before me just as it "should" be. But I can't find satisfaction in this I can't find the release that i need in this life. The true me lies in the life that I walked away from, in the me that I wasn't brave enough to become, in the chance not taken, the risks not had because I was too afraid of the loss that I might have experienced. You can't go back. You can't ever go back... I am man who wears women's clothes and unfortunately nothing more than that. We can debate whether human nature, like other aspects of the universe, is unchangeable but I do believe that individuals can have an impact on the world, a positive one, even if the sphere of influence of this impact winds up being small. We can all bring something better to the world rather than shrugging and choosing to be fucking bastards. I would consider myself as friendly and approachable and I am looking to hear from all you nice people. So if you fancy yourself as some mega bitch or want a another sycophantic lackey to cheer you on it's best you look elsewhere. I despise bullying. Thanks for taking the time to read my profile and thankyou to all those who have left such nice comments Be excellent to each other xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx