The Westboro Baptist Church Hits The Big Apple for Marriage-Equality Sunday

In anticipation of the inevitable backlash on Sunday, when gays and lesbians can legally jump the broom for the first time, I decided to check out what those wingnuts at Westboro Baptist Church are planning for the big day—and I’m so glad I did.

Over at GodHatesFags.com, the WBC already has its picketing schedule lined up:  On Sunday morning at 7:30am—when most New Yorkers are making their morning coffee, doing the crossword puzzle or rolling over and wondering the name of the trick laying next to them—Fred Phelps’ clan will be staging a formal protest in front of the Marriage Bureau in Manhattan. They’re “picket[ing] the reprobates of fag-infested New York State to remind them that God defined marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman for life.” That’s a lot to digest before noon.

The post goes on confuse elaborate the point by declaring, “That means no fag marriage, no dyke marriage and no divorce + remarriage!”  I’m unclear how divorce is being laid at our feet when we can’t even get married yet—but sometimes when God is at the table it’s best to just leave things to blind faith.  Or just ask for a second glass of Kool-Aid.

Photo via

The site goes on to explain that, “for their defiance of their Lord (Allah or Yahweh?), New Yorkers will suffer the wrath of God being poured out onto them from the sky, just as others in history who have followed this path experienced.”  Are they talking about this insane heatwave? If so, we are sooo sorry.

After hitting Manhattan, WBC plans to “picket the reprobates of fag-infested Brooklyn” from 9:45-10:30am at the Brooklyn Marriage Bureau—as well as the Supreme Court Building in The Bronx— “to show these people their transgressions against their Lord… The rebellious people of New York State find God’s standard insufficient, so they made their own satanic law of marriage and allowed sows (dykes) and dogs (fags) to wed.” Sticks and stones…

If you’re a late sleeper, the clown car good Christians from the WBC will arrive at Governor Andrew Cuomo’s office at 3pm to continue protesting same-sex marriage, because Cuomo chooses to “ignore the clear Biblical definition of marriage to the peril of his never dying soul” in his consideration of the separation of Church and State. (As if shacking up with Sandra Lee wasn’t punishment enough.)

Finally, at 4:30pm, the WBC wraps up its party-pooping parade by picketing the marriage of John Feinblatt and Jonathan Mintz at Gracie Mansion on East 88th Street. (If there is a God, he’ll strike them down with some serious Midtown traffic.)

See you at the picket lines altar, boys and girls.  I’ll be the one throwing rice at the protesters.

 

 

Photo by Jeffrey James Keyes

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