The gays are going to save the world from the coronavirus, with Naomi Campbell’s help



When supermodel Naomi Campbell, patron saint of drama queens everywhere, made a fun video of her pre-flight cleaning ritual, she demonstrated how she wipes down her seat, her overhead luggage bin, anything that she will touch on the flight. The video was met with many eye-rolls and much judgmental chuckling, from critics who derided her high-maintenance behavior.

Fast-forward a few months after that video was released, and a strain of coronavirus named COVID-19 appeared and wreaked havoc on world economic markets, throwing the travel industry into chaos. China, Italy and the Canary Islands are among the many destinations that have quarantined residents and visitors, as governments grappled with controlling the spread of this potentially dangerous bug. 

Paper face masks don’t really protect healthy people from germs like coronavirus, which range from deadly pneumonias all the way down to the common cold. Those masks have gaps on the sides, and regular breathing will suck in any germs that are in the air. More importantly, this is not an “airborne” disease—COVID-19 is not going to get pulled into a building’s air ducts and infect everyone—although when an infected person coughs or sneezes, it would be best to avoid those temporary clouds of aerosolized spit and snot. 

For example, 700+ passengers on the Diamond Princess cruise ship contracted COVID-19, even though they were wearing face masks and living in quarantine. So what went wrong? Employees of the ship were serving the passengers, passing around food trays and touching supply carts and doorknobs, spreading those germs around. And those poor passengers were trapped. What a nightmare.

This is why everybody can learn an important lesson from Naomi Campbell. Clean surfaces and clean hands are the best defense against any germ in the coronavirus family. Campbell puts on a mask in her video, but save your money and stop buying face masks, and protect yourself the best way: clean your hands. Hand sanitizer or old-fashioned soap work great, so wash your hands often, and clean everything in your life like you’re Naomi Campbell taking a flight to Qatar.

To normalize the idea of cleaning your hands often, splurge on some fabulous soaps and scrubs, and make the process an indulgent ritual at home. Of course some of the best products are from gay-owned companies. Take a look:


This is the toiletries line of chocie for many upscale hotels, and can be found in Delta VIP airport lounges. Cleansers come in scents like rum, bergamont, and lime; scrubs use natural pumice, which are biodegradable, instead of those little plastic beads that are clogging up the world’s water supplies


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Soapwalla products are sold in stores around the world, and have a great line of soap bars, which are great for using in your home. That lavender and clay bar smells so good.

Kiss My Face

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Kiss My Face bar soaps are made with olive oil, which moisturizes during frequent hand washings. They also make a cleanser with eucalyptus and menthol, to reduce chest and sinus discomfort for people who are sick. 

Beekman 1802

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Besides their delicious line of bar soaps and cleansers, made with goat milk for extra moisturizing, Beekman 1802 has licensed the Rose Apothecary line from Schitt’s Creek


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