Diary Of A Bad Date, But An Amazing Meal, At Otto Pizzeria in Las Vegas

The Scene: Otto Pizzeria and Enoteca, a restaurant in The Venetian Resort Hotel Casino, one of the most famous casinos in Las Vegas. Otto is operated by B&B Hospitality, an enterprise owned by celebrity chefs Mario Batali and Lidia Bastianich, and Lidia’s son Joe Bastianich, who own numerous B&B eateries around the U.S. (including B&B Ristorante, also in The Venetian).

The Situation: A Date. We had chatted online the previous night. The conversation was fun and easy, as I stood watching The Bellagio fountains and texted. He seemed like a friendly sort of fellow, and as he is a Las Vegas resident, he offered to show me around a bit. But first, before driving through the desert with this stranger, we decided to get to know each other first. So here we go:

Chapter 1

I arrived a bit early, and had a glass of Prosecco.

Prosecco
Otto is not only a restaurant; it is an “enoteca,” Italian for “wine shop,” and their wine list is insane—
wine-list-otto
—so as I stared at it with the obvious bewilderment of someone who barely knows more than “white or red,” the server recommended I try something from the enomatic list, which are popular wines kept on tap. My grandmother would have loved one of those in her house, God bless. I handed back the wine list and told him to bring me something light. Hence, here is my Prosecco by the glass, with bubbles that are magically kept fresh.

He arrives, 1 p.m., exactly on time. Same smile as his profile photo. Although that profile photo is at least 10 years old. Hmm.

But it matters not. Let’s keep an open mind, shall we? The server brings another glass of Prosecco for Mr. Las Vegas, and Mr. LV and I ask the server to keep going with the suggestions for the entire meal, and bring us whatever he would like. Tasting menus are always an adventure. The server whisks the menus from our hands. “My pleasure, gentlemen,” he says with a smile, and off he goes.

Mr. LV and I chat. I sip my Prosecco. He drains his glass.

Chapter 2

We are served an absolutely spectacular assortment of cheeses and antipasti:

cheese-spreads
Proscuitto di Parma, salami, mortadella, cured meats that are served next to cheese selections of Tallegio with amarone cherries, Fontina with apricots, and Parmigano Reggiano with truffle honey. But forget not the eggplant caponata, spread on crusty bread, at once savory and sweet. And delicious! It is my favorite. Mr. LV and I devour everything. I mention I don’t want to drink my Prosecco too fast, as I want to pace myself, so Mr. LV grabs my glass from the table and finishes it. Problem solved.

Chapter 3

bastianich-wine
We are served a delightful linguine with mussels and roasted tomato, seasoned with a bit of saffron. I forgot to take a photo of it. But I did get a photo of the wine, a house rofasco bottled under the Bastianich name, which is a bit fruiter than a white without being sweet. As his glass is being poured, Mr. LV accuses the server of being naughty for bringing us so much delicious wine, and if he’s not careful he’ll get a spanking. Charming.

The server smiles politely and professionally, and leaves. I just blush. How fun, I match the wine.

The pasta is light, delicate, and gently aromatic. As I spin linguine onto my fork, I comment that I probably shouldn’t be eating so much. Mr. LV flashes a smile and says, “Keep eating. I like my boys a little chunky.” What a delightful compliment! I pause for a moment, contemplating the “chunky” area around my midsection, but I promise to battle it another day. And then I just keep eating. That pasta is really good.

Chapter 4

It is time for meat:

pork-shoulder
Braised pork shoulder, so tender it can be cut with the side of a fork, served with a glass of Mongrana, an earthy Tuscan red. My eyes closed a little as I take the first bite, my palette opening as I taste all the flavors of the dish. I look up towards the high ceiling, painted like blue sky and clouds, and the clouds seem to move a little bit. Is that special effects? No. I’ve just had a lot of wine. As I eat, I drink half of my glass, and Mr. LV motions to our server to top us off. I look back down and everything feels so warm, like this braised pork is giving me a hug from the inside. Mr. LV leans over, gives me a smoldering gaze, and asks, “You ever ride down The Strip in a convertible?” I shake my head. I think, I am not getting in this man’s car. But I am just going to have to deal with this situation for a little while, because the food is that good. As is shown in the above photo, at this point I was completely ignoring that glass of water. My gosh, the Mongrana goes down easy.

 

Chapter 5

pizza1
Pizza with goat cheese and scallions. On my fourth glass of wine, Mr. LV’s jokes have become funny, which in retrospect is just tragic. He asks me what my plans are for the next day, and I tell him I want to drive out to see Red Rock Canyon. He says, Red Rock is especially beautiful during sunrise. Perhaps I can stay at his place and he can take me there in the morning. Uh oh, I need to get out of here
 before things become dicey. But that means lunch will be over. I must stay. I must be brave.

Chapter 6

dessert
Dessert has arrived, and I hear the singing of angels. On the left, the Otto Sundae, an assortment of gelato; on the right, cannoli, filled with sweet ricotta cheese and chocolate chips. For anyone who has never had cannoli, and ricotta cheese for dessert seems odd, it is not. It is delicious. We are poured a bit of Montenegro amaro…

grappa
…but it is really strong, syrupy, aromatic stuff. And at this point, well…

 

Final Chapter

drunk

…Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not my finest moment. Look upon this photo of a defeated man, a vision of gluttony and absence of restraint. Oh Otto, how you ruin me with so much food, so much delicious food, and then there is the wine, and I must say it is all worth the risk of over-indulgence.

Just one caution: choose your company wisely.

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