Out on the Town: Nathan Manske’s Brooklyn

nathan mankse 8B
Nathan Manske photographed by Michael J. Cargill

Here at GayCities, we love to hear stories about the places where people live and travel. So when we came across the amazing I’m From Driftwood blog, we were hooked. I’m from Driftwood collects stories of people’s experiences growing up in their hometown. We highlight the great stories right here on our blog.

To get to know more about the man behind the blog, this week we feature the young creator of I’m from Driftwood, Nathan Manske. He chatted with GayCities editorial director Chris Bull via email about real life Driftwood, his adopted hometown of Brooklyn–and dropping trou at Sugarland.

 Nathan riding Bruiser in Driftwood, 1984 Nathan riding Bruiser in Driftwood, 1984

Where is Driftwood?

I’m aware of how incredibly cheesy this might sound, but I very often feel my entire life has been leading up to me making this website, all the way back to growing up in Driftwood, TX. A friend asked, “If you weren’t from Driftwood, would you still call the site ‘I’m From Wherever'” and the answer is absolutely not. Driftwood has so many metaphorical meanings as well as intrigue and an air of mystery about it. Something like “I’m From Poughkeepsie” would be weird and something like “I’m From Austin” just doesn’t have much meaning, really. Driftwood is in the middle of Texas so there’s no way actual driftwood could even be there. It doesn’t belong there. It’s out of place there. Much like the way gay people feel sometimes. Not to mention, Driftwood actually sounds like a tiny town, which it is. I don’t care what the person looks like; I care about the experience the person went through. Also, the fact that the reader doesn’t know what the person looks like kind of furthers the point of the site. It doesn’t matter what they look like. It doesn’t matter what race they are, what gender they are, what religion. The only thing that matters is if you can connect with them on a human level. Commonality is a central theme to the site. That’s why I love using Google Earth images for almost all the stories. In a labyrinthine subdivision, a gay person could, and probably does, live in any one of those houses you see.

childhood pic in driftwood with bros and cousin
Childhood in Driftwood with brothers and cousin

When you move around Brooklyn and Manhattan, do you think about all the stories to be told behind the walls of the old buildings?

Oh, man, absolutely. You just can’t help it. Several of my friends have rooftops and every time we go up there–it’s just like in the movies. You look around and are surrounded by buildings with rooms that are lit-up yellow squares, and you see silhouettes of people and you just can’t help wondering what they’re doing, what they’re feeling, who they’re talking to, what’s going on in their lives, even what they did today. If I knew which ones were LGBT, I’d love to get one of those suction cup dart gun things, attach my website business card to a dart and shoot it to their windows.

How do you find your subjects?

Besides the first nine stories on the site, all of which are my friends, every other story–I have almost 150 now–has been from word-of-mouth, blogs, or meeting new people. When I’m not editing stories or finding Google Earth images, I’m emailing blogs telling them about my site. I always have a stack of business cards in my back pocket in case I meet people at a bar. One time I saw two guys being intimate and snuggly on a subway and I walked right up to them and told them about my site and gave them a card. So it’s all very viral, which also means it can be very frustrating and slow to grow. I’m living off unemployment and a little savings, so I don’t have the money to do more traditional advertising or promotions, but so far things seem to be going well. It seems to be more organic and home-grown this way and I kind of like that about it. It’s very Driftwood, if you will.

Nathan in Driftwood with rooster
Nathan back home in Driftwood with rooster, 2003

From what you are seeing from your readers and writers, is life getting better out there for gay teens?

I’m always fairly cautious when answering questions like this. Because as a gay teen, struggling to come to terms with my own sexuality, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone telling me that it’s easier now than it was before. It’s so damn hard no matter what, no matter when, no matter where. Are things going in the right direction? No doubt. But every time I seem to hear about a new Gay-Straight Alliance being formed in a small town school in Idaho, I hear about a gay teenager being murdered in New York City. But as for my authors and readers, I think one thing that has definitely gotten better is their outlets via the Internet. It’s so much easier now to meet and communicate with other gay people. I think as a whole, gay teens are less isolated.

Talk about your favorite gay and gay friendly places in and around your hometown.

Where I lived in Driftwood was about 40 minutes southwest of Austin, and I went to the University of Texas at Austin, so I spent all my gay out-and-abouting there until I moved to Brooklyn. When I go back to visit, the gay bar staple is OilCan Harry’s. It’s been around forever. When I was a young buck, it was 21+ only so I couldn’t go, but they now have college night on Thursdays and it tends to be the best night. The good thing about Austin is that it’s big enough to be a respectable city, but small enough to not have a gayborhood or a bar for every subgroup in the gay community. So even on college night, you’ll have quite a diverse crowd. Rain, just two doors down from Oilcan’s, is also a lot of fun. Just about everyone bounces back and forth between the two.

How bout grub?

You must go to Kerbey Lane on South Lamar for either breakfast or after-partying drunk food (it’s open 24/7). You can’t go wrong with just some good ol’ fashioned breakfast tacos, with salsa of course. If you prefer to stay downtown, grab some coffee at Jo’s Coffee Shop on 2nd, between Colorado and Lavaca. The wait staff seemed to be mostly gay, and much of the clientele, as well.

You also cannot leave Austin without having some Tex-Mex. Trudy’s is always fun and the one on UT campus typically has a gayer crowd if you wanna look at cute boys and girls while sipping on your Mexican Martini (those suckers are so strong they have a 2-drink limit). While you’re in the area, right next door is Spider House Cafe which has a very gay crowd, an amazing outdoor patio and great tea and coffee concoctions. And the gayest and one of the funnest things to do on a weekend is to go to Hippie Hollow, out on Lake Travis. Hippie Hollow is a clothing-optional area, and at the very end of the walkway is the gay area. Just follow the thumping gay music from the boats that are anchored there. If you’re intimidated by the clothing-optional part, don’t be. Most people keep their swimsuits on. It’s just a fun part of the lake to visit and be with your fellow LGBTers, having a good time.

McCarren Park, Brooklyn
McCarren Park, Brooklyn

So finding love and acceptance is everyone’s goal, as you say, and gay kids long for that as much as the next youth. How does Nathan go about finding love? Where do you meet guys? Where would you take a special date?

I’ll preface this with the fact that I’ve been single since I moved to New York, almost six years ago, with the exception of a brief, three-month relationship earlier this year, so I’m not exactly an expert on finding love. It’s funny, though, because I used to write ads for Match.com, even some gay-specific ones, so it was literally my job in a way to help people find love. I even wrote scripts for some Dr. Phil commercials, so I’ve heard and read and written all sorts of advice on it through my work, and as most people kind of already know, there’s no one secret. I think you just have to get out there and be around people with common interests. If you like music, go to a lot of shows. Go to the park, coffee shops, just go where there are people like you.

Tell us a dating story…

For a while, I had this rule that if I saw someone I liked, and I had a reason to think they may like me back (lingering eye contact, etc), I would say “Hi,” no matter how uncomfortable it was, no matter the circumstance. This led to some really good stories. Once during this time, some friends and I were having brunch at Artepasta in the West Village. They have a great brunch special–$15 for brunch and unlimited mimosas. While we were eating, I kept making eye contact with this guy at another table. Knowing my rule, I knew I was going to say “Hi,” I just didn’t know how. So I kept downing those mimosas to get some good ol’ fashioned liquid courage. I told my friends about my rule and they talked about different ways I should approach this cute guy. Keep in mind he was at a table of six. So as we were leaving, I walked up to him, interrupted the entire table and quietly, bashfully, voice-crackingly said, “Hi. I, uh…do you have a boyfriend?” Horrible opener! Horrible! The table was staring at me. “No” he answered, looking confused. “Oh. Well, can I give you my number? I think you’re cute. And, let’s get a drink some time.” I had already written my number down on a napkin, and I put it on the table next to him, then I scurried off like a mouse. I met my friends outside and said, “We have to leave. Now.” It was horrible…but it worked! He texted me five minutes later saying, “That was very brave. You’re cute, too. I’d love to get a drink some time.” We dated for a couple weeks and for whatever reason, it didn’t last, but it proved to me that it works. Regardless, I was very proud of myself.

And where did you take the cute brunch boy on a date?

I prefer fun dates as opposed to fancy dates. There’s a great Barbecue restaurant in Williamsburg called Fette Sau. It’s community seating, so you’ll likely be sitting next to other people at a big picnic table. You order cafeteria-style, so there are no waiters. You just get your grub, order a gallon of beer in an old-fashioned glass pitcher to share with your date, grab a seat and chow down. After your dinner, there are two great options to continue your beer-drinking date. Either walk off a bit of your dinner by heading several blocks over to Radegast Beer Garden, a German beer hall, where you’ll be served ale in mugs so big you’ll half-expect to see some Norse God with a full beard to be sitting next to you. Or, I guess in our community, we call them “bears.”

On the Juliet Rooftop in Brooklyn, NY
Nathan with his aunt and friends having dinner on the rooftop of Juliette, Brooklyn

What’s a typical Nathan weekend these days?

I live in Williamsburg, so all these places are in or around my neighborhood. And since the weather in New York leaves much to be desired, I’m always looking for outside things to do when it’s nice. Williamsburg is a hipster, artist community, so most people walking by will at least be interesting to look at. Or, depending on your scene, snicker at. For going out, there is the bar Metropolitan and the club Sugarland. So Friday night, head to Sugarland. You’ll hear the typical Lady Gaga and other modern pop, but on Friday nights, you’ll also hear your fair share of Guns ‘n’ Roses and other good rock ‘n’ roll. Also, don’t miss Sugarland’s pants optional nights. If you drop ’em, you get a free shot.

For brunch on Saturday, one of my favorite places to go is Rabbit Hole. It’s fairly new and French-y, and of course, has a really nice outdoor patio area. After eating, walk up Bedford. There are lots of little shopping boutiques, and also be sure to stop into Spoonbill & Sugartown, a local independent bookstore. After you slowly meander up Bedford, you’ll come across McCarren Park. Find a spot under a tree to watch a softball, kickball, or volleyball game–or walk across the park to look at all the dogs at the dog park. If you’ve worked up an appetite, there’s a great rooftop dining area at Juliette, back on Bedford Ave. Once Saturday night rolls around, get ready for an even bigger night at Sugarland. For Sunday brunch, go nurse your Sugarland hangover at Taco Chulo, which has 2-for-1 mimosas or bloody marys, great Tex-Mex food, and one of the only places in New York City that has real Queso.

After brunch, and if you made a good decision to visit Brooklyn in the summertime, walk over to the East River State Park. There are free concerts with great lineups every Sunday starting at 2pm. There’s an amazing view of the Manhattan skyline, as well as dodgeball and basketball games going on. After you’ve had your fill of the concerts and park, head over to Metropolitan Bar. Starting at 5pm every Sunday, they have free BBQ (hamburgers, hot dogs, veggie burgers, beans and potato salad) and cheap beer. It’s always jam-packed full of cute hipsters and very laid back and fun. Anyway, whew, that’s a lot for a weekend, but I hate to waste any second of summer, so I pack in as much as I can every day.

Metropolitan
Chowing down with Marquise Lee, director of the I’m From Driftwood original Video Stories

How did you end up in Brooklyn, a long way from Driftwood?

I love Driftwood and I love Austin and I love Texas and being around my family, but after growing up there my entire life, I wanted to see what else was out there. I graduated in 2003 with an advertising degree and New York City is obviously the place to be for that. My oldest brother moved to NYC a couple years before, so that made it much easier. I slept on his floor when I first moved here, then house-sat and couch-hopped for a while until I found a better job, then my brother and I found a place together. We’ve now been in the same apartment here in Brooklyn for five  years.

I live in South Williamsburg, which is actually a Hasidic Jewish neighborhood. So walking from my apartment to McCarren Park, I walk through a Hasidic neighborhood, then a Puerto Rican neighborhood, then the Hipster neighborhood, then just past the park is a large Polish community. There aren’t many cities where you can walk for just 15 minutes and experience four very different cultures.

When we are putting together our big urban city guides, which feature everything from community centers to huge clubs to cozy cafes to art galleries, we are often struck by the dazzling diversity and color of gay life, all created in a historically short period of time. The places we have colonized, such as Brooklyn, are among the best on earth, and we often make them even better. So why do in your view so few isolated gay teens know about the beauty of what lies ahead?

Teens who are struggling with their sexuality can’t imagine a brighter, happier, better future because they can’t look past the pain and torment that is commonly associated with accepting who they truly are. Or at least their sexuality. That’s why I’m hoping all these stories can help fix that for at least some of them. Some kid somewhere will hopefully read a story and relate to the author. You know, like, “Ah, wow, this guy gets it. That’s how I feel!” Then, they’ll hopefully see that the story has a happy ending and ask himself, “How did he go from how I feel now, to this better life he has now?” And the answer is always to just come out and surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. Surrounding yourself with people who love you for who you are is no secret–it’s what everyone, gay or straight, needs to do. But gay people have a barrier we have to climb over first to even attempt to accomplish that, and unfortunately, we’re forced to start dealing with that at an age when things are so weird and difficult anyway–in our teens. And all these resources and strong community-building we’ve done is amazing, but until a person comes out to him or herself, it’s very hard to do any good for the super-closeted teen, because he or she won’t go to a LGBT center or check out a book in the library. It’s like that old phrase, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

Brooklyn sunset
Brooklyn sunset, from a friend's roof

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